Gonna Be A Bear

I got this poem from my visiting teachers and thought it was pretty clever.


In this life I'm a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children
(who are the size of peanuts)
while you're asleep and wake up to partially grown,
cute, cuddly cubs
I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup....GONNA BE A BEAR.